12 Comments

  1. Integrous Resolution Services (IRS)

    Hi there! What an interesting article. I am in the practice of providing conflict resolution services. Can you share with me some ideas on how this can be incorporated in my practice for my clients? I love that this program is a long term commitment. A huge part of conflict resolution starts with forgiveness itself

    • Dave

      Hey there, 

      Glad to hear we are in the same industry. 🙂

      If you work on helping people resolve their conflicts, I believe they need to cultivate the nature, or character trait if you will, of forgiveness.

      When people conflict, it means they disagree in something and there are people who usually get hurt in the process.

       In other instances, you may find hurt coming first and leading people to conflict as someone may have been keeping silent about things done to them until the point they can’t hold it anymore. Their bitterness stirs up within them and makes them act.

      People like these need to heal these pains first before you can even solve the issues at hand. And this is where the Choice of Forgiveness comes in. You can get them to use it while you help them understand their situation and how they can solve things.

      I hope you have understood my perspective. 🙂

      Cheers.

  2. Heidi Yates

    Very interesting article. I’m thinking I’ll take a look at it for the meditation CD, that sounds like it would be great.

    I think people perhaps don’t realise they haven’t forgiven someone and the anger tends to build up until it explodes. Hopefully this will help people to work through it. Thanks again.

    • Dave

      You are right Heidi, 

      People tend to think that just because they have said they have forgiven someone, they have completely come out of the pain, which is not really the case.

      When someone is hurt, the pain accumulates in the heart and bitterness in the mind and even after forgiving and choosing to let go, things don’t shift to normal immediately.

      It is usually a healing process which needs constant attention, just like a physical wound is taken care of, in order to heal.

      And this is why the emotional healing approach is really important in any forgiveness program.

      I am sure you are going to understand everything when you get to use the CDs.

      I’d be happy to get your feedback on them. 🙂

  3. Richard

    The toughest thing is to forgive someone who abused you whether verbally, or physically. Counseling does help and sometimes that pain is carried with us till we die.

    However, I feel that being able to truly forgive a person who hurt us can make one feel better and clears all that hateful thoughts and does relieve the stress we carry around us.
    It can be a long painful process. I sincerely hope that your program will give me and those who suffer in silence, to forgive and live a purposeful life.

    • Dave

      Hey Richard, 

      I also agree with you on this one. 

      It is really hard to forgive someone especially if you remember the kind of intense rage and hate they had towards you when they abused you. When you remember their face and their words, as well as their actions, the hate within you gets stirred up all the more.

      And that’s why I love the Choice of Forgiveness.

      Other than educating you and training you with practical exercises for forgiveness, they take time to help you heal your heart and mind too. They know, it is one thing to know and practice forgiveness, but it is quite another to live in it, without any baggage of the past.

      I believe you will see this when you start using it. I am more than sure you are going to love the training and the whole experience. I look forward to hearing from again.

      Cheers.

  4. John

    This book is what I should be routing for right about now. I mean I have a lot on my mind, a lot of forgiveness piled up in there which is not making me free of badges I have in my heart. Letting go is really not easy. I am so getting this right away if It will be very helpful which I think will be.

    • Dave

      I feel you brother, 

      Letting go of the pain just like that after the huge pain that was caused in you is not anything easy. 

      And it is very hard to just say you have forgiven and forgotten that easy.

      But then, at the end of the day, we will not live forever and am happy you wish to know how to forgive because it shows you are ready to forgive even though challenging to do it.

      I highly encourage you to get the system as it will walk you through all the things you require to release the bitterness slowly by slowly and help you get to learn and put into practice true forgiveness in a way that you will find interesting and easy.

      I believe you are going to get so much value from the program.

      Have a good one mate.

  5. Mat A.

    Hi Dave,
    I love this article, thanks so much for writing it! I believe it is difficult to forgive someone when you feel they have wronged you deeply and I can’t even imagine if someone is trying to forgive someone who abused them.
    About 5 years ago I had someone very close to me hurt me deeply. I was ashamed that I allowed it to happen and had a lot of anger at myself. For several years I just buried it inside and didn’t do anything about it. After doing some deep diving with some assistance I was able to move past it. The biggest hurdle for me was what your first component speaks to – letting yourself off the hook. I had so much anger at myself that I had to figure out a way to forgive myself first. When I did it was like shedding a big sack of sadness.
    This looks amazing, I will definitely look into it and send folks your way who could benefit from this as well.
    All the best,
    Mat A.

    • Dave

      Hey Mat, 

      I feel you buddy. 

      Sometimes, it is very hard to understand how we let ourselves to our friends without thinking about the effects that come with being too friendly with people and loosing your real self.

      I have also walked this road before and it is when you are deeply hurt by them that you realize you have been lying to yourself all this while. 

      And this is where you have to forgive yourself first for having let yourself be given to your friends too much, if you want to move on.

      I am very happy to hear that you were able to let it all go. It is really painful ????.

      I believe you and your friends are going to fetch real value from the program.

      Don’t forget to let us know how you find the whole system.

      Well be waiting. Cheers

  6. Ann

    Thanks for this interesting article. I can fully relate to your comments about being a private person you are reluctant to talk about problems, even to a therapist. A once trusting nature can be damaged through the actions of an abuser.
    It doesn’t matter if the abuse is mental or physical, it leaves long lasting scars.
    As you say, forgiving your abuser is the first step in healing the scars. This system sounds very comprehensive and working through it would surely provide lasting support and help.

    • Dave

      That’s right Ann, 

      When trust is broken it is surely broken. And the last you want to do is to go share your problems with other people whom you are not sure whether you can trust with your inner most secrets and feelings.

      I am happy you see the kind of value this program comes with.

      Cheers. 🙂

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