Self-defeating behavior is any behavior that normally ends up with a result that is something the person doing the behavior doesn’t want to happen.
If you are trying to accomplish some goal, and something you do makes it less likely that you will reach that goal, then that is a self-defeating behavior.
If the goal is reached, but the ways you used to reach the goal cause more bad things to happen than the positive things you get from achieving the goal, that is also self-defeating behavior.
Social psychologists have been studying self-defeating behaviors for at least 30 years. And although they have identified several things that seem to lead to self-defeating behaviors, much more can be learned about what self-defeating behavior have in common, and how to get people to reduce the impact of these behavior in their lives.
Have you been struggling with self defeating behaviour?”Get out of your own way book” helps you overcome it.
In this review, i will take you through what the book is ,what it talks about,its cost and finally my thoughts about the book.
I will try all my best to give you every single detail about this book and if by any chance i do not tackle one of the things you really wanted,you can as well ask in the comments area and i will be happy to help you out .
Lets then,get started on this book’s review:
Name : Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
Author: Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg
Best Place to Buy: www.amazon.com
Genre: Self-help book
Publisher : TarcherPerigee
Publication Date : February 1, 1996
What It Is
This is a book that shows you how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
It explains why we sabotage ourselves, going back to childhood origins of various behaviors.
More important, it offers proven steps of action to transform behavior from self-defeating to life-enhancing. With anecdotes and usable insights drawn from twenty years of psychiatric clinical practice, Dr. Mark Goulston shares ideas that have helped thousands of patients overcome pain, fear, and confusion – to approach life’s challenges with dignity, wisdom, courage, and even humor.
By encouraging you to reflect upon your behavior – and providing practical steps toward change that you can work into your everyday life – Get Out of Your Own Way shows you how to stop being your own worst enemy – and become your own best friend.
Mark Goulston (born February 21, 1948) is a prominent psychiatrist and consultant to major organizations. His book, Just Listen , ranked #1 in six Amazon/Kindle categories, has been translated into 14 languages, reached #1 in
Munich and Shanghai , and became the basis of a 2010 PBS special.
The Consumers Research Council three times named him one of America’s Top Psychiatrists, including in 2011. For over 20 years, he has been Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Institute.
Goulston has appeared on Oprah ,
The Today Show, The Phil Donahue Show,
CNN ,and hosted a PBS pledge drive special. His column Solve Anything with Dr. Mark is nationally syndicated by Tribune Media Services .
He blogs for the Huffington Post
Psychology Today ,Fast Company ,and
Business Insider ,contributes to the Harvard Business Review and writes a syndicated column for ” Biz Journals “,.
He frequently gives keynote speeches at women’s conferences. Dr. Goulston lives in Los Angeles with his wife and three children.
Philip Goldberg is the author or co-author of numerous books; a public speaker and workshop leader; a spiritual counselor, meditation teacher and ordained Interfaith Minister. A Los Angeles resident, he cohosts the Spirit Matters podcast, leads American Veda Tours and blogs regularly on Elephant Journal and Spirituality & Health.
His numerous books include the award-winning American Veda: From Emerson and the Beatles to Yoga and Meditation, How Indian Spirituality Changed the West; Roadsigns on the Spiritual Path: Living at the Heart of Paradox; and the forthcoming biography, The Life of Yogananda: The Story of the Yogi Who Became the First Modern Guru.
What The Book Talks About
Lessons from the book:
Emotions are built on layers. Beneath hatred is usually anger; beneath anger is frustration; beneath frustration is hurt; beneath hurt is fear. If you keep expressing your feelings, you will generally move through them in that order. What begins with “I hate you” culminates in “I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t know what to do about it.
You know the old saying, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” Well, if you always get out as soon as the kitchen gets hot, your life will end up half-baked.
Man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”
Both partners describe one of their own character flaws. Humility resolves self-righteousness.
Both partners share a quality of the other person that they admire. Admiration resolves disappointment. Both partners express appreciation for something that the other one did. Gratitude resolves resentment. Both partners apologize, without excuses, for something they did to hurt the other person. Remorse resolves hurt.
All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a simple lonely action. But the goal is not to replace what cannot be replaced, or duplicate what cannot be duplicated, but simply to create opportunities for new memories.
Those who are comfortable taking chances know that the best way to grow is to reach beyond their grasp. Their sense of direction comes from the heart. They don’t shy away from surprise; they might even seek it out. And they seldom die with regrets. In the end we regret not what we have done but what we have not done.
(Read the book to discover more)
Best Place to Buy The Book
The best place I recommend you buy Get Out of Your Own Way book is on Amazon. The price there is fair and according to my research, it is the most trusted online store at the moment. It will also be very convenient for you to buy there if you were planning to do more online shopping today.
This is generally a good book .
It is straightforward, provokes thoughtful self-reflection and provides actionable solutions.
It’s great that each topic is a brief, but straightforward discussion on that pattern.
Feel free to leave in your comments as well
as your questions.
I hope you found this review useful to you.